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          作家班 等你來為中華少年作家代言
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          茱萸點評許莘璐《真相》
          2015年11月3日 ? admin ? 評論數 0+ ? 已影響 +

          【題目】《真相》
            【作者】許莘璐
            【正文】

          隱匿者,

          權謀者,

          叛逆者,

          三個為此設計的華麗辭藻:

          騙子。


          我們在這世上生存,

          像隱匿者一般活著。

          使用權謀,想驅趕走死亡多活一天。

          我們是叛逆者,想賺多點錢財。

          我們每個人其實都是叛徒。


          動物更懂自己。

          狗對那些對它好的人表現忠心,

          死心塌地地跟隨你,

          人類卻習慣在背后捅刀和獵殺同類。

          狼從未吃過他們的同伴,

          我們卻像瘋子一般地去嘗試。

          我們誤會同類,

          盲目地獵殺,

          抖動著手臂。


          想在充滿荊棘的世界中殺出一條路。

          帶滿刺沾滿血的藤蔓。

          帶刺的是背叛與謊言。

          叛徒在矮木叢中潛行,無藥可救。

          希望與愿望矛盾,難道是為了更好的世界?

          (敖中華、許莘璐、許洋/譯)


          Truth


          Deceiver.

          Trickster.

          Traitor 

          Three fancy words for one thing:

          Liar.

          We labor on this earth,

          Leading lives as deceivers,

          Using trickery,

          Hoping to stave off death for one more day,

          We are betrayers,

          Wanting some meager coin

          For gain.

          Every one of us is a traitor.

          Animals know better.

          Dogs are loyal to one who treats them kindly.

          Steadfastly by your side.

          Humans backstab and hunt their own kind.

          Wolves have never eaten their own kind.

          We are insane enough to try.

          We misinterpret,

          Blindly hacking,

          Flailing,

          Making a path in this thorny world

          Of brambles and vines.

          With thorns that are betrayal and lies

          Traitors lurk in the underbrush, hopelessly lost,

          Hoping against hope,

          For a better world?

          【點評】

          前三節層層推進:隱匿者、權謀者和叛逆者,無非是“騙子”這一名稱的三種藻飾;在第三節,“我們每個人”都有這三個方面的表現,因此言下之意我們每個人也都是“騙子”。第四、五節用動物世界的邏輯來反襯人類的貪婪與不義,而在末節做了收束:人類假希望之名以行的罪惡,是否有悖于文明的愿景?
          這首《真相》,寫出的是我們所處的時代和人類世界的真相。梁漱溟當年問:“這個世界會好嗎?”是一個疑問句。這首詩說:“難道是為了更好的世界?”卻是一個反詰句。它批判的是人類現有的文明狀況,但這個批判卻不是出自深諳世事的老者之手,也并非來自意氣風發、試圖改變世界的青壯年,而是一個稚童。看資料得知,作者許莘璐今年已經12歲多了,但這首詩應是她9歲時的作品。
          近年來我拜讀過不少這個年紀前后作者的作品(以“小學生詩歌節”為代表),當然也不是不好,但是詩用童言寫,不難寫得好,因為童言本身就天然富有詩性和詩意;然而,詩性不是詩,詩意也不是詩(繪畫也能有詩意,別的藝術形式也能有詩意),詩還有技藝和巧思的考量因素,還有獨屬于它的文體要件。許莘璐在一般的兒童作品之外自成一格,顯出了她非常早熟、不屬于“童言”的那一面。如果不是家長揠苗助長、催熟過甚的話,那么可喜可賀,這種早熟中依然帶有幼稚的視角(尚未被“文明”沾染過多的視角),卻無疑虎虎有生氣。
          (來源:中華少年作家網/作者:許莘璐) 
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